


Over my head

by extremesoft, SenorCasillas



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-04-22 00:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14296707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extremesoft/pseuds/extremesoft, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SenorCasillas/pseuds/SenorCasillas
Summary: “I’ll be joining Ferrari next season”.Max stared at Daniel, watched his face, waiting for him to burst out into laughter and say something along the lines of ‘you should have seen your face!’, but Daniel’s expression didn’t change.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 'cause apparently there are rumours that Daniel already signed for Ferrari.  
> I'm sorry if it's a bit chaotic.

“I’ll be joining Ferrari next season”.

Max stared at Daniel, watched his face, waiting for him to burst out into laughter and say something along the lines of ‘you should have seen your face!’, but Daniel’s expression didn’t change. “Why are you telling me this”. Max didn’t mean to snap at Daniel, didn’t mean to sound so annoyed but he couldn’t take back the words anymore.

“Because you’re my friend and I think you deserve a head’s up, so I’m giving you one” Daniel answered.

Max got the feeling that maybe Daniel anticipated that response from him, because Daniel looked way too calm and relaxed. Max felt the emotions building up inside him quickly, eager to come out and show Daniel just exactly how Max was feeling, but he had to keep them under control, he didn’t want Daniel to know how much the news was really affecting him.

After being quiet for a couple of seconds Max just nodded in response. He didn’t know what to say, how to react, what to do, and he was too focused on making sure his eyes weren’t tearing up to even think of anything. He kept staring at Daniel, watched him with an intense expression on his face, hoping for him to say something again.

“So.. that’s all, unless there’s anything else you want to ask or say.. ” Daniel said, watched Max for a bit to give him time to say something, and then slowly made his way towards the hotel room door.

Max didn’t do anything, didn’t say anything, just looked down at the floor. What was he even supposed to do? The deal was done, he couldn’t sneak into Ferrari’s office and shred Daniel’s new contract to pieces. He could say anything to Daniel and it wouldn’t do a damn thing, nothing would help, so why even bother to try.

Daniel left the room without saying another word. He let the door close softly, as if to not disturb Max, and went off to god knows where, Max surely didn’t know. He held his head in his hands and then pulled on his hair, he wanted to cry so badly, he wanted to scream, wanted to bawl his eyes out, but he didn’t want Daniel to know how much he was hurting inside. It felt like Daniel had ripped Max’s heart right out of his chest, and then put it in a fire just to see how it would melt and turn into ash.

He should have seen it coming, knew very well what he was getting into when he started responding to Daniel’s advances. Fernando had warned him for the flirting, had told him to just ignore it because he did it with everyone else too, but of course Max had to be so stupid and give in. He just wanted to know what it felt like, to flirt with someone he kind of looked up to, someone he already had a tiny crush on before he joined the Red Bull team. He just wanted to know what it was like to be desired for who he was, not for what he had achieved. And most importantly, he was stupid enough to believe that maybe he could change Daniel, that Daniel would end up falling in love with him too.

Max had told himself he could handle it, friends with benefits, or better said do whatever Daniel wanted whenever he wanted, because Max was too scared and nervous to ask for anything. The first time they jacked each other off was all fun and games, but then Max’s heart decided to ignore his brain and made the small bits of feelings he already had blow up. He should have put a stop to it when he heard Daniel talk about someone he liked that wasn’t Max, but not giving in was so difficult, and it didn’t get any easier no matter how often it happened.

Some time had passed, Max wasn’t even sure how much, but he was sure that Daniel was far away enough to not notice anything. He laid down on the bed, grabbed a pillow and squeezed it tightly, waiting for the tears to slowly roll down his face. He started off quiet, little sobs escaping his mouth every now and then, but the more he let his thoughts wander of the louder his sobs got. Eventually he buried his face into the pillow to somewhat muffle his cries, he didn’t want to hear how pathetic he was, it only made him feel worse.

Once the tears had really started coming he couldn’t stop anymore. At one point he was starting to feel light headed because he was breathing so fast, and he had to force himself to focus on his breathing. He didn’t want to, didn’t care about anything anymore at this point, but he knew he had to.

Max had no idea how much time had passed when the tears finally stopped coming, and he didn’t bother to look either. Crying had done nothing for him, he still felt as hurt and heartbroken as when Daniel had just told him the news, except now he also hated himself for how pathetic he was. Max let out a shaky breath and pulled the covers over his head. He pinched his arm hard, trying to wake himself up from this horrible nightmare, but nothing happened, he was already wide awake.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the ever amazing Extremesoft wanted to write Dan's point of view for this fic and she did such an amazing job that the whole world just needs to see this, so here, go read it, and then tell her how awesome her writing is

"I'll be joining Ferrari next season."  
The words still felt oddly dry and a bit off on Daniel's tongue, like he had been trying to swallow a mouthful of ash.

He had of course played the situation in his head over and over again, countless times, with different words and different outcomes. Maybe Max would smile and shake his hand and congratulate him on what seemed like an excellent deal. Maybe he would question Daniel a bit further. Maybe he would be disappointed or even borderline angry. Maybe he would collapse, cry and beg, try to turn Daniel’s head and heart around. The first option was even in Daniel’s mind the least likely and the last made his stomach turn.

But Daniel had carefully prepared himself for anything Max would perhaps throw at him, so when Max snapped at him, asking why he was telling him all that, Daniel had just the perfect response to that as well. Max was his friend, after all, and Daniel had thought he deserved a heads up and was now giving him one. So it was actually an act of enormous generosity and goodwill, Daniel bothering to mention this minor detail to Max, and there was nothing more to it and there also shouldn't have been any room for complaint, really.

As Daniel witnessed Max shutting down completely, however, just nodding in response and not saying a word anymore, he realized how unprepared he in fact was for not being hit with anything at all. He would have rather taken a verbal beating, a punch in the face, being told to fuck straight off, hasty, painful angry sex with no unnecessary pillow talk afterwards but just him keeping his cool, getting up and leaving again; anything else than the silence surrounding and suffocating the two of them.

“So… that’s all”, said Daniel tentatively, in one last half-hearted attempt to see if he could get at least something out of his current teammate, not being sure what he wanted to achieve, “unless there’s anything else you want to ask or say…”

Nothing.

Daniel slowly started to make his way to the door.

He liked Max. Sure. But then again he liked a lot of people. He had never shied away from showing it and fully taking in all the attention given back to him, enjoying being wanted. It had been all fun and games with Max as well, like with everyone else before and after him; from the first of his exaggerated winks topped with his all too cocksure grin to the first playful kiss he’d gifted Max with to the first time he’d gotten Max to jack him off and nonchalantly returned the favor, he had enjoyed everything he’d gotten out of his young teammate, and it hadn’t seemed like Max had minded the arrangement either. Fun and games, the games and the players, nothing more, never. He had told himself he’d handle it like he always did, friends with benefits, moving on after getting what he wanted.

But then Daniel had slowly started to notice how the one single thing he had so much tried to avoid had started to make its growing presence known, in subtle but none the less painful ways. The eagerness of his young teammate to please him every time in any way, the all too obvious warmth and admiration in his eyes every time he looked at Daniel from the other side of the garage, the badly concealed disappointment flashing on his face every time Daniel rose from his side, letting him get struck by the full force of the cool night air, and left again.

There were feelings involved. Max’s feelings, stronger than his own. And Daniel could handle anything like he always did except that.

He liked a lot of people. Sure. But Max wasn’t really just people, and that was the heart of the problem. He was everything he shouldn't have been, every reason Daniel could think of for not even trying to really make it work, and why there couldn't be more for Daniel than his games and the people he got to play with him. Max was his own teammate, a guy, a young lovefool who Daniel knew wouldn’t probably be able to handle him in the end; he was just all the wrong things in the completely wrong time. 

Daniel had to suppress a grimace; now that he was actually in the same space with Max, looking at him and listening to the unbearable silence, all of his reasons made him sound like a complete chicken, or an asshole, and he hated himself for that. He could have maybe done all of it a bit better, be a bit gentler, seeing how high the stakes were raised.

But then again it wouldn't have worked nonetheless and it wasn't like he would just suddenly be able to have some sort of a fairytale ending with his own teammate, for fuck's sake, not in this world, so why even bother to try. He couldn't risk his whole life, and Max's, by doing something as idiotic as inevitably falling for him at some point; and still thinking a lonely heart better than a broken heart, Daniel could only tell to himself that this was for the best. For both of them. He should probably get going before he, or Max, would sink in too deep and manage to cause damages beyond repair, and he could only hope Max would also see it in the end.

And so Daniel, perhaps having a distant hunch what was about to take place in the room shortly afterwards, let the door close slowly, not wanting to disturb Max anymore, and went off to God knows where, he surely didn't know.


End file.
